


it's the little things

by annadavidson



Series: that which shaped the century (a dragon age dual au) [15]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Dragon Age AU, Dragon Age Dual AU, Dragon Age Prompt Exchange, Dual AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 12:07:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annadavidson/pseuds/annadavidson
Summary: It was the little things that she noticed first.Prompt: Trevelyan starts to realize she can have small pleasures again. She can choose food from a table of plenty, stay awake all night, wander through the halls doing nothing, and wear what she wants. It’s so different from life in the Circle, and suddenly she just can’t see the Circles as an option anymore. Not the way they are.





	it's the little things

It was the little things that she noticed first. It was the little things that made her feel safe, secure, and _free._ The first time she got to lie on an actually comfy bed in a bedroom and not some cell under the disguise of a room. The first time she got to put on pajamas. The first time she got to run down a hallway and tackle her brother with a hug. The first time she got to wear _pants._ She didn’t mind robes and dresses, but they weren’t the easiest to fight in.

And now she could fight. She was allowed to defend herself, to talk back. The first time she got to say what she wanted to, got to speak her mind, without the threat of death or tranquility. The first time she got to eat whatever she wanted – well out of what the kitchen had available. The first time she got to eat _sweets._ She had missed pastries and cakes so much. The first time she had stayed up for hours and hours after everyone else had gone to bed. The first time she’d slept in way past when she should have gotten up.

She used to do that all the time, all of those things. She came from a wealthy family, nobility in the Free Marches. The Trevelyan name held power and weight. Her mother had probably once hoped she would become a Chantry Sister, perhaps someday the next Divine – her twin brother a Chantry Brother like what her mother had wanted from her eldest brothers. But she and her twin, Zhen, had discovered they had magic, and her older brother, Ju-long, had rebelled and joined the Templar Order. She and Zhen had been shipped off, originally to Ostwick’s Circle. But for whatever reason, shortly after they arrived, they were redirected to Kirkwall’s Circle, the Gallows.

Any freedom, all the little things she had taken for granted, had been stripped away from her and her twin. They were there for so many years until the Chantry blew up and the city burned. She still remembered the heat of flames. She remembered people around her dying – mages and Templars alike struck down. She remembered seeing fellow mages twisted into abominations. She remembered using her magic to bring the corpses back to life to assure herself and her twin safe passage out of the chaos.

And even then, when she and her brother had found sanctuary with the Grey Wardens at Vigil’s Keep, she hadn’t thought she was be truly free. She knew they weren’t the Circle, but the Grey Wardens were still a secretive order. She hadn’t really had time to take in the freedoms being a Grey Warden had given her back. She had been far too busy training, learning, _fighting._ The learning part had almost felt like she was back in the Circle, except that the Grey Wardens didn’t limit what she could learn. If she wanted to learn blood magic, she could. She hadn’t wanted to, but she had studied and learned the art of necromancy.

It wasn’t until she joined the Inquisition with her brothers, Zhen and Ju-long, and a fellow Warden, Bailey, that she had come to realize all the freedoms she had. It struck her late at night, when she’d been lying on her back and staring up at the stars, her brothers at her sides. Their backs were against the grass, empty plates that once held an abundance of sweets lying by them. It had been so long since she had just scarfed down treats. It had been so long since she’d had sweets without dinner – their mother never would have allowed it.

And to be able to watch the stars with her brothers like they had done as kids? She thought many people would take it for granted. They wouldn’t think much of being able to watch stars with family. Many people who hadn’t ever lived in the confinement of a Circle. But it meant _so much_ to her.

She looked to her side at her older brother, Ju-long – though he was going by _Striker_ now, he would always be _Ju-long_ to her and Zhen. She looked at the scarring that littered his face, surrounding his eyes. She looked at his eyes, no longer the pale blue they had all inherited from their mother, but rather a milky white. He was going blind, he’d told her and Zhen. She wondered how the stars looked to him. She wondered if she hadn’t been taken to the Circle, could she have been there to prevent whatever accident had happened to him.

She had once thought there were perks to life in the Circle. She could learn her magic safely, away from the judgement of others, but that had never been true. The constant presence of Templars had always been a threat to her and Zhen’s safety. And the Circle was never devoid of judgement, especially at Kirkwall. Perhaps it was good that the mages had rebelled, that the Circle was now in ruins. Perhaps it was best if the Circle never came back.

“What are you thinking about?” Striker’s voice reached her ears and she blinked, coming out of her zoned out state.

He was looking at her with those milky eyes. Zhen had partially sat up, propping himself up with his elbows to get a better look at both of his siblings.

“How do you know I’m thinking?” she playfully threw back at him.

Striker grinned. “When _aren’t_ you thinking?”

She heard Zhen chuckle. “He’s got you there.”

Ai reached over and playfully shoved her younger twin. _“Twerp.”_ She laughed with her brothers, another thing she had missed. It almost felt like they were kids again, though there were things, _people_ obviously missing. Their parents were still in the Free Marches – according to Striker, they hadn’t contacted the Inquisition and he hadn’t asked Josephine to contact them. Their eldest brother was also missing, but she found she didn’t really miss him. She didn’t miss the way he had looked at her and Zhen when they’d discovered their magic. She didn’t miss the way he’d sneered Striker’s real name when he had ran off to join the Templars. She didn’t miss the way he saw all three of them as disappointments.

“Seriously, though,” Striker continued, sitting up. She sighed and sat up with him. “Something on your mind?”

She shrugged. “I’m just… _happy._ I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”

Zhen raised an eyebrow. “With all this crap that’s going on? The world might be ending and the Grey Wardens are riddled with issues.”

She frowned at that. _“I know,_ but that doesn’t mean we can’t just take a moment and feel happy.” She gently nudged him with her elbow. “Zhen, when was the last we were all together like this? When was the last time we had dessert without dinner? We could never do any of this in the Circle.”

Zhen nodded slowly, coming to sit fully up. He scooted closer and leaned to the side, resting his head on her shoulder. “There was a lot we couldn’t do in the Circle.”

“We can eat whatever we want,” she said, her voice full of wonder. “If I’m craving something, I just ask Josephine, and if we don’t have the ingredients, she gets them. We can wear whatever we want. We can go wherever we want without supervision.”

“We’re Grey Wardens,” Zhen added with a grin, “No one can force us back to the Circle. The Chantry can’t touch us.”

“The Chantry can’t touch us,” she repeated, finding herself mirroring her brother’s grin. _“We can fall in love.”_ That was her favorite part. She loved watching Zhen and Bailey since the moment they had met. She loved watching her twin fall in love with the elf. In the Circle, they had come to believe they would never find love because they weren’t allowed. In the Circle, to fall in love was a death sentence. It brought nothing but pain. But now Zhen was in love – and someone had caught her attention.

Zhen was grinning up at her. “You’re thinking of that Charger aren’t you?”

Ai felt her face heat up. “Maybe, maybe not.”

She noticed Zhen pause and look past her to Striker. She followed his gaze and found their older brother watching them fondly, but… He also looked _sad._ She didn’t have to ask to know what he was thinking, how he was feeling. Growing up, he had protected them, guided them. Growing up, he had let no one touch them… Until the Chantry came.

“You should have always been able to fall in love,” Striker spoke softly, but there was a pained edge to his voice. It was a tone that clearly said _I failed you._ “You should have always been free… I should have taken you with me. We should have ran away together.”

Zhen got up and moved to sit on Striker’s other side, opposite of Ai. Ai reached forward and placed a hand on her older brother’s shoulder.

“We were just kids,” she pointed out, “None of us could have known what would happen. What matters is that we’re free _now.”_

Striker smiled softly and pulled them both in for a hug. He hugged them tightly as if he was afraid that if he didn’t, someone would take them away again.

“No one will ever take away your freedom again,” he said, looking from one to the other. “I promise you that.”

Ai looked from Zhen to Striker and returned her brother’s smile. The twins curled up at Striker’s sides like they had done as kids, when they had snuck out late to go to the garden and watch the stars. She rested her head against her older brother’s shoulder. This was just a little thing to most people, taken for granted and perhaps not seen as a privilege. But she thanked the Maker for the little freedoms of everyday life outside of the Circle.

**Author's Note:**

> Like/reblog on Tumblr [here](http://magicrobins.tumblr.com/post/160532095550/its-the-little-things).


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